


Smith Family Life

by Maksvell



Category: Gravity Falls, Pocket Mortys, Rick and Morty
Genre: Assault, Bank Robbery, Crime, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Femslash, Fighting, Gay Sex, Jock!Jessica, Jock!Morticia, M/M, Multi, Sapphic!Morticia, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Selfcest, Sex Toys, Steampunk, Stoner clocks, criminal, eldritch horror, groovy, vans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-16 22:36:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13645854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maksvell/pseuds/Maksvell
Summary: Each chapter centers around the lives of the members of the Smith Family as well as their well-known associates.





	1. Chapter 1

The sky opened up, a massive green portal ripped a hole in reality's fabric and from it fell a brunette sixteen year old in a yellow hoodie. She was then promptly followed by her demented, genius grandfather, who was followed by his brawny boyfriend Stan, who was in turn being pursued by a monolithic eldritch horror whose unearthly appendages were being ripped from its body by Stan's massive man hands.  
Morticia, the girl in the yellow hoodie was screaming in existential terror (which is typical of one who has survived a battle with an unearthly abomination.) , Rick quickly turned to her and began to shoot at the godlike beast.  
"Morticia, Morticia s-shut the fuck up and take this!"  
He tossed his gun at Morticia who fumbled briefly before getting a good grip on the semiautomatic pistol. She looked to Rick with terror in her eyes.  
"A-and do what Rick?"  
"Fuckin shoot it!"  
Jessica was sitting in her room carving little symbols into the bottom of her desk, along with various quote on quote "edgy" quotes like, "The rain hides my tears." Doing this brought her immense joy. Doing this made her remember a time that she was in middle school, she was given a journal to chronical her internal thoughts and emotions without any fear of an authority figure digging through it and finding new and exciting ways of manipulating her. So to prove that they were going through her shit, she jotted down a bunch of bullshit self-harm statements, this lead to her getting called down to the office for a little talk about what she wrote. Bingo. She quickly finished up her knife work when she heard the pitter patter of rain on her window, quickly discovering that the rain was not that of water, but rather it was bits of repugnant, chunky yellow gore that were pelting her window. She peered through the gore rain up at the sky looking directly at the battle with the eldritch abomination based battle in the sky.   
Morticia, her grandfather, and his awesome boyfriend, Stan, stood on top of a pile of misshapen bones and flesh that was once the mighty ruler of a nightmare dimension. Morticia stared wide eyed into the middle distance. She could still hear the shrieks of the Ogre people as the Old Gods destroyed their minds and bodies through black magick. It will never end, she thought to herself.  
Holy shit that looks badass! Jessica thought to herself after seeing the shapeless being falling out of the sky. She through on a light jacket to protect herself from the chill of autumn. She sprinted out of her house with an insane amount of speed getting increasingly closer to the slowly decaying mound of monster meat.  
Morticia sat at the foot of the mountain of gore her face in her palms as she tried to block out the sounds of the Ogre People's screams of madness and sorrow. Her quiet contemplative meditation was interrupted by a sweet and familiar voice that was trying to catch her attention.  
"Umm hey? Morticia?"  
Morticia looked up, slightly startled by the sight of Jessica standing before her a massive camera in her hands.  
"Eh? O-oh j-jessica, h-hi."  
"Hey Morticia. Umm, did you do all this?"  
Morticia flushed a bright crimson.  
"I-i-i..."  
Morticia's stuttery explaimation was suddenly cut off by a very, very high Rick and his very, very high boy-toy Stan approaching her from behind.  
"Y-yeah, yeah, yeah JeeEessica ya should have een her."  
"Yeah, little 'Tish here was a champ she grabbed Ricks gun and began to shoot at it y'know pow pow pow! Heheahaha!"  
Morticia's blush only grew brighter in colour as her grandpas showered her in false praise, believing that Jessica would quickly see though their cloud of horseshit . She did, but she didn't exactly mind the prospect of snapping a picture of morticia with the monster.   
Jessica began to laugh, "So, " champ" mind if I get a pic with you and the creature?"  
"I-uhh, y-yeah, please."  
Jessica picked her up in a very powerful bear hug. Morticia nearly passed out, only regaining her bearings when Jessica returned her to the ground. Jessica smiled and rested her arm on on Morticia's shoulders as she took a selfie in front of the gore mountain. After getting a very satisfying picture with a cute girl and a monster corpse, Jessica wished a nice day upon Morticia and her stoned grampas as she sprinted away with some pep in her step.  
"Rick, I think she bought it.", giggle whispered Stan to his sexy spindly boyfriend. Stan is a top, don't deny this truth, Stan Pines is a top, and he is very very good at it.


	2. Day 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brad attacks!

Jessica felt a sharp pain shoot through her arm as her knuckle duster collided with the lower jaw of her ex-boyfriend Brad. He was knocked against the redbrick wall of the alley the force of the collision caused back damage that would only come to do him harm when he turns 48.  
"What the hell , you fucking bitch!" ,shouted the once proud athlete. His exclamation only led to Jessica swiping him across the face with her knuckle duster. He collapsed to the ground in a painful crying fit. She grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and lifted him up.  
"Look at me."  
Bradley refused to meet her gaze.  
"LOOK AT ME!"  
His eyes shot open and locked with hers, blood, snot, and tears leaking down his face.  
"If I you bother Morticia again I will burn your goddamn house down with you inside it, and then after that I will frame your parents for the crime. Do you understand?"  
He nodded and Jessica dropped him to the ground.

Beth wont be home for another three hours, thought Jerry to himself as the slid his phone out of his shitty polo shirt pocket.  
"Jer?", said the voice on the other end.  
"Yeah it's me. Are you, are you busy? "  
"Nooo, not at the moment why?"  
"Beth's working late."  
"Mmm, is that so?", cooed the gentle loving voice on the other line.  
" Yeah, you know it...Baby."  
"Mmmm, Jerry you dork, I love it when you talk dirty to me. I'll be there in Fifteen minutes."  
"See you then, Gary."

Stan paced around Rick's bedroom smacking a riding crop against the palm of his hand. He was dressed as Grampa from The Munsters save for the black leather thong and Santa hat that Rick insisted he wear. Rick sat in an antique chair next to his bed, his twitching arms and legs were tied to the chair's arms and legs. He was naked, save for a green tentacle hat that was on his head, his massive cock throbbed violently as the monsterous vibrator in his ass shocked his prostate.  
"G-goddamn it Stan, why must you tease me so?"  
Stan wordlessly strode towards Rick and took a seat on his lap, making sure that he didn't stimulate his penis. Rick gulped nervously, goddamn this man was the first to make him nervous, and holy shit it made him hard, so goddamn hard. Stan smiled and let out a slightly sadistic chuckle as he ran the crop along Rick's thigh ending with a firm smack on his left calf. Rick shot a thick rope of cum into the air and it landed satisfyingly covering both of the old men. Rick was coated, not just in cum , but also a thick layer of sweat as he hyperventilated.  
"That feel good?", asked Daddy Stan.  
Rick nodded and Stan smiled at him lovingly as he undid his boyfriend's bonds.  
" C'mon smart guy, let's get ya to the shower and get ya cleaned up." Said Stan as he led his boyfriend to their bathroom. The vibrator fell out of Rick's ass and exploded, causing the carpet to only be a little damaged.

Beth sat in the motel bed smoking a joint the size of a baby's forearm . Goddamn she felt good, if slightly egotistical. Beth stood in the doorway of the bathroom after getting out of the shower, her wet blonde hair was wrapped In a powder blue motel towel, as her waist was wrapped in an identical towel.   
"Something wrong?", asked Beth.  
"No, it's nothing.", responded Beth  
"You're smoking pot, we only smoke pot when we feel guilty."  
'"It's just, this."  
"What about this? What about this makes you feel guilty?"  
"I mean I ... We're cheating on Jerry, I mean he's, it's not like he's a bad guy or anything so I, I feel bad."  
Beth took of her towel, her now dry skin covered in goosebumps from the chilly motel room's air, and climbed on top of Beth's stoned form. Beth looked up at Beth and she couldn't help but smile.   
"Your Jerry is cheating on you with a supermarket clerk named Gary, my Jerry is sleeping with a series of Meeseeks. So, if it makes you feel any better ...just think of this as playback."  
Beth knew that it was pointless to argue with herself, she put her joint out in the ashtray on the nightstand and flipped herself over, kissing and biting at her neck feverishly.

It was the last day of school, the last day of their sophomore year, and Bradley had a vendetta the size of California, he heard tell that his ex was hanging out with that weird Morticia girl, for some reason his simple human mind couldn't comprehend why Jessica didn't want to hang out with him, in his eyes he thought that he was comparatively cooler than Morticia . I mean look at me, he thought to himself . I'm specticurler , I punched Hitler, well kind of... He was lost in thought for a moment when Morticia crossed his path, his gaze was fixed upon her and his blood began to boil. He ran at her his fists in the air and unintelligible insults were forced from his mouth. Morticia turned, and his fist connected with her face before she even got the chance to say, "Huh?". She hit the ground like a sack of wet potatoes. The action quickly drew a large crowd of students who were chanting, " Fight, Fight, Fight!", at the top of their lungs.Morticia rose to her feet her left hand clutching her bruised eye, and a stern calm expression on her face. Suddenly Bradley felt something cold hit his neck and he saw a smile briefly flash across her face before she made herself collapse to the floor. She began to cry then Bradley felt something dig into his neck skin. Principal Vagina showed up and forced the other students out of his way, making it to the fight ring.  
"I Did it! I beat up morticia and I'll do it again!" Shouted Brad, who was suddenly unable to control his body or what he said. He slamed his rock hard fist into Mr. Goldenfold's face and then his elbow into Principal Vagina's face, blood dripped down the collective faces of the educators. What his happening to me?!, screamed Bradley's brain, unable to form these thoughts into words. The principal got to his feet and put the boy in an armlock and dragged his ass kicking and screaming down to the office. You bet your ass that they're going to have him charged for assault. Beth was called to pick Morticia up early. Morticia then spent the rest of the day watching, how to videos on YouTube as her sister complained about her relationship issues.


	3. News, Owls.Drugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drugs.

Rick awoke from a hellish dream that pirates were trying to rip his fucking lungs out while chanting, "Yer a punk ass bitch, yar!". He was coated in a thick layer of Semen and sweat. Surrounding him were a series of pink fluffy pillows, Jerry's parents and their young lover were peacefully asleep upon the aforementioned pink pillows , and his boyfriend Stan was sitting at the top of a lifeguard stand that was styled to be like the Iron Throne from Game of Thrones. He was naked save for the roman centurion helmet that was upon his head. Rick smiled up at him and Stan responded by clicking a button on his arm rest that released a series of randy insectoids that proceeded to gangbang his boyfriend.  
Beth and Jerry sat across from one another at the dinner table slowly chewing miniscule bites of fried egg. They both knew that they were seeing someone behind the backs of one another, but they weren't sure how they should bring it up, or if they should bring it up. Ultimately they both silently agreed that it was best to not bring up their affairs. Their daughters joined them at the table a few minutes after their respective meals grew cold.  
Morticia had recently taken to strolling around the nearby park while wearing a leather jacket with her hair slicked back, this however lead to old ladies in the park to nearly keel over while laughing at her. This however did not convince her to give up on her new dream of being a professional Bad Girltm. Suddenly a portal opened up in the tree.  
"Morticiaaa!!! We, we gotta go, grampa's got a new businessss venture!", shouted Rick as he pulled her into the portal. She suddenly found herself in the centre of a massive alien city.  
" Ah, wait, ah...shit."  
"Rick, what's wrong?"  
"Iii just, just remembered that yer not, not integral to the venture."  
He then handed her a medieval-style mace and a bag of circus peanuts.  
"Just, just wait here."   
She stood there, a shitty bag of shitty candy and an absurdly overweight weapon in her arms. The blue sun of the alien city caused her to feel as though she was going to melt, perhaps she would. He quickly fled to an alley, avoiding the harsh rays of the sun.   
"This is bullshit."  
Suddenly she heard a clap of thunder.  
"Great, n-now it's gonna rain. That's really great."  
She took off her jacket and coverd her head, in an effort to protect herself from the harsh weather, only to be knocked on her face by an unidentified object. She then picked herself up, walking over to the object that struck her. As soon as she glanced it she realized that it was a severed kitten's head. She kind of wasn't surprised, two years of adventuring with Rick made her sort of numb to the smaller stuff, but then it started to make a mewing noise. Morticia's eyes grew wide and then the head sprouted massive insect-like legs and walked off. She looked up and she saw thousands of kitten heads raining from the sky. The sight of the kitten-head based precipitation caused her to sit against the wall and stare numbly at the kitten heads as their bug legs shot from their neck-stumps and scaled the walls of one of the nearby buildings. She crawled into the fetal position and stared at the brick-metaloid wall of the building that she was once sitting against.  
"Nope."  
Suddenly she found herself surrounded by the mantis legged cat-heads. She quickly sat the fuck up, seeing that she was trapped.  
"Oh, h-hi?"  
They meowed back aggressively.  
"O-okay...okay..."  
She dug her bag of circus peanuts out of her jacket pocket, taking out a few marshmallow peanuts and tossing them into the cat-head crowd. The flew at them , only for the marshmallows to bounce off their blank, dumb, faces indifferent to her offering of "food".   
" Well, well w-what do you want?"  
The all hissed before swarming her, they tackled her to the ground sinking their horrible cat teeth into her arms and shoulders. This is how I die, Jesus this is how I die, thought Morticia as her screams were drowned out by the howls of the cats. They ripped her filthy leather jacket off and dragged it away, to feast upon it like a group of wolves fighting over a caribou carcus. She quickly fled the alley, chewing on one of the remaining circus peanuts. Rick appeared moments later with a bag filled with gold encrusted, jewl covered horse skulls.   
"Jesus, what, what the fuck happened to you?"  
Morticia shot him an extremely bitter look.  
"Fuck you."

The situation in which Summer was playing Twister in the dorm room of Nancy's college dorm room was a very curious one. She found this left hand green, right foot blue nonsense to be extremely trivial. But, it made Nancy happy , so it made her happy. The whole damn game came to an end when Summer tried to shift her foot to the left slightly causing her girlfriend to lose her footing and collapse on top of her, which in turn caused Summer to collapse. The collapse caused both of the young women to burst into hysterical laughter.  
Beth sat in her bedroom surrounded by a series of other hers, drinking wine while wearing owl masks. Jerry entered and quickly and quietly left, he didn't really want to see Beths' weird semi-narcissistic orgy, but, you know what it wasn't his place to judge, so he didn't. The Beths then proceeded to swarm each other hooting as they did so.  
Jessica wasn't sure how to broach the subject. She was extremely nervous, but also absolutly excited.She sat down on the park bench next to Morticia. Morticia glanced at her, but she quickly blushed and looked away, hoping that Jessica didn't catch her gaze.   
"Hey 'Tish?", she words tapdanced on Morticia's nerves like Dick van Dyke in the Mary Poppins film.  
" Y-yeah? ", she said trying not to sound too anxious.  
Jessica paused, she wasn't exactly sure how to form her thoughts into a sentence.  
"Would you like to..."  
Sweat began to form on Morticia's forehead. Oh my god! Oh my god! , she likes me! , screamed Morticia's brain.   
"...get high and watch old drug PSAs?"  
All of Morticia's hopes and dreams took the controls of the airplane away from the pilot, and slammed nose first into a floor of solid granite killing everyone onboard. The initial shock left Morticia feeling slightly dazed, she wasn't entirely aware of the question.  
"'Tish? Morticia? Are you okay?"  
"Y-yeah, I'm sorry ..."  
"It's okay, I understand if you're not down with the herb."  
'Umm...D-down with the herb?"  
"Yeah."  
Morticia found herself to be a little perturbed, was Jessica actually fucking with her?  
"D-do people a-actually say that?"  
"Yeeesss?", Jessica lied through her teeth hoping that Morticia didn't pick up on her euphemism fuck up.  
"S-sure, I'm, I'm "down with the herb"."  
Within an hour the two girls were slouching on Jessica's bed, giggling like idiots as they shared a blunt the size of a can of Pringles and watching 'Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue' particularly, the scene in which Simon from The Chipmunks is explaining what marijuana is. I swear to god what they're watching is real, watch it on YouTube.  
"Goddamn, t-this, this beats the hell out of adventuring with Rick."


	4. Bugs, and Stars.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morticia hangs out with a cute girl

Morticia sat by herself in a booth near the back of some sort of alien bar as Rick and Stan hit on nearly every sentient being that walked in. Bastards didn’t even let her drink, so she was sitting there drinking whatever-the-fuck the Gorblaxion equivalent of ginger ale is. Whatever it was it tasted vaguely similar to a blueberry but, rooty. She was then approached by an insectoid alien, she stood at the height of 5’2, she had blue tinted compound eyes, her wings were like that of some sort of a moth, Morticia couldn’t really tell what kind, her arms were similar to a human’s, the only real difference being the dark blue exoskeleton and the fact that she had only three fingers on each hand. Morticia is her grandfather’s granddaughter.

“Hey, is this seat taken?”, said the insectoid girl, Morticia found her words to be like her nerves were being wrapped in the finest of silks.  
“N-no by all means.”  
“Thanks, Sapien.”, she sat across from Morticia, a mug of some vaguely purple ale in her left claw. “Don’t see many of you out and about, are you with those guys?” she gestured to Rick and Stan who had given up on their one-night stand plan and had proceeded to make out in one of the barstools.  
“Errr-. Kinda. T-they’re my g-grandfathers.”  
“Grandfathers?”  
“Y-yeah, y’know, oh geez how, how do I explain?”  
“Perhaps you could elaborate on what exactly a grandfather is?”  
“O-oh, well a g-grandfather is like your dad’s dad or y-your mom’s dad.”  
“Oh. Could you elaborate on those terms?”  
Morticia brushed her curly locks of hair behind her ears, sweat beading on her forehead.  
“Well, well a-a dad is the person that … a mom and a dad are, are parents. D-do you, do you know what the concept of parents are?”  
“My people are grown in cells of naturally occurring plastic.”  
“Okay, b-but who puts you in the cells t-to begin with?”  
“Eh?”  
“Like the m-materials, that make you, you?”’  
“Oh. Our genetic fluids are excreted by the Queen Goddess and placed into the cells to develop into a being proper.”  
“O-okay, we’ve covered some, some ground here. S-so a grandfather is basically the Queen G-goddess of your Queen Goddess.”  
“Well, if i didn’t think you were cute I’d call you a heretic. “  
Morticia blushed, this cute bug girl thinks that she’s cute. ‘Hold yourself together Morticia, you’ve got this. Kind. Courteous. Confident.’, thought Morticia to herself.  
“S-so do you have a name, or a t-title?”, ‘Dear sweet Jesus.’, screamed Morticia’s brain, ‘She’s going to think that I’m rude, she’s going to hate me! I’m so stupid!’  
“Atigoni.”, said the cool alien girl sweetly.  
“N-nice to meet you.”  
“Likewise. So, do you have a name or should I just call you cutie?”  
“M-morticia, Morticia is my name.”  
“Might I say that you have a very beautiful name, Morticia?”  
Morticia blushed a deeper shade of crimson and melted into a stuttery mess, but by Nyarlathotep she grinned like a fucking idiot.  
“O-oh well i-i-i…”

She was broken out of her infatuation induced trance by Rick tapping on her shoulder.   
“C’mon ‘Tish, we gotta book it, “  
“G-goddamn it, Rick. A-are you fuckin serious?”  
“W-what, what do you think? Stuh-Stan and I lost a bet with this one guy and-and he says that he’s gonna break our fuUUuucking legs if, if we don’t pay up.”  
“T-that’s, y-your problem, Rick!”  
“Look, look at grampa’s fuckin lEEEeegs Morticia.”  
“I-i don’t care, you owe me Rick.”  
Rick rolled his eyes and stomped off like a petulant child.  
“Fuckin young love, buuUUUullshit.”

Atigoni got up to leave, but before she left she passed Morticia a series of numbers and symbols written on a slip of pseudo-paper.  
“Send me a text. ‘Tish.”

Morticia accepted the paper, looked into Atigoni’s compound eyes and nodded. On the other side of the universe, Jessica sat at her desk writing a poem and felt a chill run up her spine, After Atigoni left the bar Rick shouted something and the entire cantina erupted in a massive battle of nonsensical violence. Mortica took cover under the booth’s table and watched as her grandfathers broke the legs of an alien that looks very similar to that eye-hands monster from Pan’s Labyrinth.  
“How, h-how the fuck does that feel? How the fuck does that feel, B-biIIIiiyatch!?”, screamed Rick, somehow louder than the painful roars of the alien. Morticia walked out of their, her yellow t-shirt stained with blood and gore, her grandfathers walking on either side of them. 

 

Gary loves America so much it makes his fucking dick hard. 

He stood in the middle of Jerry and Beth’s room, his hand resting on his shirtless chest, and a massive silicone dildo jammed up his ass.  
“Say it, you know you want to.”, said Jerry in his most sensuous voice, who stood before him wearing a latex American flag pair of booty shorts, which left very little to the imagination. He began to do squats that showed off his tight, fat ass,  
“I-I pledge allegiance…”  
“Keep going Gary, you’re doing so well.”  
“To the flag, of the United States of America. To the republic, for which we stand.”  
“Oh fuck yeah, keep going.”, moaned Jerry as he rubbed his star spangled clad ass against Gary’s rock hard member. Gary grabbed Jerry’s hips and began to rub his cock against the crack of his ass faster.   
“One Nation!”  
“Harder!”  
“Under Yog Sothoth!”  
“Yes, Fuck me Gary! I wanna get Fucked! Cum on my back.”  
“With liberty! And JUSTICE FOR ALL OHHH GODDAMNIT!”  
Gary shot a massive rope of cum from his still firm member, coating the back of Jerry’s head in his Gary-seed.


	5. Jessica's existential crisis.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica has an existential crisis and reality is broken.

Jessica layer down on her bed, staring up at her ceiling. Does god hate me?, was a question that bounced through her mind. She wasn't far off. God doesn't hate her they just hold a lot of distain towards her for not having a lot of personality in the original source material. Suddenly a weird thought hit her, like a goddamn sledgehammer to the forehead, What the fuck is my last name? She dwelled on this thought for a bit, she has to have a last name. It's not like I don't have one, I must...I mean my patents...Her thoughts came to a hault, she couldn't remember her patents. Every single aspect that she should know about her parents, she remembered absolutely nothing about them. She fled into the the living room, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of her parents. Then they turned to look at her. The face of her mother was that of Dan Harmon, and the face of her father was that of Justine Roliaid. Jessica began to scream and rip chunks of hair out of her head. Her parents linked arms and began to melt into a puddle of Alex Hirsch coloured wax. Naturally this did nothing to make her screaming cease. She started to bash her own face into the wall. This life is not worth living! The wall broke, but her face was seemingly unscathed.  
"Why won't you just let me die?!", screamed Jessica as she slowly collapsed onto the floor.  
Silence.

She suddenly found herself suspended in a white void. Despite the fact that there was not a ground beneath her feet she found it remarkably easy to walk forward. She walk for what felt like hours, but it may have actually have been centuries. Eventually she came to a hault in front of a riving mass of obsidian cubes.  
"Hello.", chirped a familiar androgynous voice from seemingly nowhere.  
"Who said that?"  
"I did.", chirped the voice again.  
" Who are you, where are you?"  
"See the pile of cubes before you?"  
"Y-yeah."  
"That's me."  
"Okayyy."  
"Please approach, or don't it's all the same to me."  
She began to slowly creep toward the mass of constantly shifting cubes.  
"It's good to see you again, Jessica."  
"What do you mean by that?"  
"Oh, right. I hope you can forgive my slight error. You've non through so many interpretations that it's really hard to keep track of everything that's going on with you."  
"I don't think I understand."  
"Correct. My apologues. Now, I suppose introductions at in order."  
The mass extended a series of cubes that formed into the basic parody of a human hand. Jessica looked down at it and tentatively shook it.  
"Maksvell", said the cube mass.  
"Jessica", responded Jessica irritated slightly by the cadence of it's genderless voice.  
"Might I say that it is an absolute pleasure to meet you, or rather this version of you?'  
"Ummm, sure why not? Can I ask you a few questions Maksvell?"  
"Sure, you'll find that I'm extremely prepared for whatever questions you have."  
"Errrkay...First off could you tell me where we are?"  
"It's called a whitespace, or in some circles it is referred to as the astral plain. Right now you are not physically here, rather you're here on a psychic level. The same goes for me, my body is sitting in a kitchen typing away on a Kindle Fire"  
"What are you exactly?"  
"Could you elaborate?"  
"Like I mean what are you, you look like a .... This? I guess? It's a little difficult to describe you."  
Maksvell vanished, leaving Jessica all alone in the whitespace. Only to then return.  
"Sorry about that, I'm fighting a cold. Now, to answer that question properly I need to explain that I am simply a human, my mental form is this simply because I chose it to be. Will that be all?"  
"Yeah, I guess. Wait you didn't tell me what you're doing here.'  
"Well, I'm simply having a conversation with you."  
"Yes, but why are we talking? What is the purpose of our chat?  
" I figured that some explanations were in order, especially considering how things went last time."  
"Y'see you say that and I find it to be curious. I recognized your voice, but not your mannerisms. I just can't place it."  
"You know that voice in the back of your mind that's leads you down certain paths? The one that told you to beat the shit out of Brad for attacking Morticia?"  
"Yeah? That's you?! What are you, are you...God."  
"Nah, I am afraid not. I'm just your writer. Y'see?"  
"Writer?"  
"Yes, your entire reality is a poorly planned out piece of fiction."  
"That...That doesn't make any sense, does that...Does that mean that we arent in control of our own actions...or even our own thoughts? '"  
"Well, to a certain degree. But none of that is important what is important is that we resolve your existential crisis before the damn thing boils over."   
"Why are you revealing all of this to me? Of all people why me? What did I do?"  
The being known as Maksvell let out a sigh of annoyance.  
"Your character is nearly impossible to work with."  
"What?"  
"In the source material that my work is based on your character is a practically a drone, you lack a personality and only serve as the love interest of one of the main characters. And and even then, it's unrequited. And worse of all the denizens of the internet find it more palatable to pair up the main character with his own grandfather."  
"That's... That's..."  
"Disgusting? Yeah, tell me about it."  
"You said source material, So, I'm not even an original character? You stole me from someone else?"  
"Everything but your personality."  
"But...why?"  
"I'm not   
" I based your current personality on aspects of my own. For instance do you remember the whole write fake suicidal bullshit down in a journal? Yeah, that shit actually happened to me."  
"But, why? I don't understand why."  
"Because it was the one personality I put you in that was tolerable. This is by no means my first time writing your character. At multiple points in the past I've given you less then stellar personalities that didn't quite fit."  
"Like?"  
"Initially, I wanted to have a story set in a film noir type of environment. But that was quickly shutdown when I couldn't make the " hard boiled detective " personality work for you. But I kept trying it out. In fact it was while I was trying out one of these stories at I first spoke to you. I gave that version of you a crash course in how I could your reality by writing. Now, this was borne from my anger towards you lacking a personality to begin with. After that I moved on to a stranger in a strange land story, it featured you waking up in an empty city filled only with roaving gangs of Meeseeks, a young Stan Pines, a comatose holographic Rick Sanchez, and their stoic granddaughter Morticia, who drove around in a neon-yellow El-Camino. That then evolved to me changing you into a barbarian warrior-princess that Morticia was infatuated with. And for a brief period of time I made you slightly ableist, but then you were supposed to grow and become accepting. "  
"Me? Ableist? That's absurd."  
"Indeed it is, but that's the process, and now I've finally settled on a personality that I can see you having in the show."  
"But why reveal this to me?  
" Because I feel as though, I have done you a disservice and I would like to apologize if I haven't done your character justice. Now it's time to wake up."

Jessica awoke and rose rapidly with a loud gasp. She was in her bed cuddling with Morticia and... A bug girl?


	6. Part One of the Highschool Drama.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small story set in the town of Gravity Falls, Featuring the star athletes of Gravity Falls Highschool, Jessica, and Morticia.

Tonight’s cast includes: Rick Sanchez as A scumbag, Stanley Pines as Scumbag’s boyfriend, Morticia Smith as The Jock, her older sister Jessica and her assorted girlfriends as a marching band themed street gang, Stanford Pines and Fiddleford Hadron McGucket as clandestine gay science teachers, Jessica as a Basketball player, Dipper Pines as a huge nerd that is trying to be goth, Mabel Pines as Morticia’s groovy friend, Brad as a huge dick-head (Aint that a shocker).  
Our story begins on the football field of Gravity Falls high school, star quarterback and curly haired queen Morticia Smith is standing opposite of star basketball player, Jessica.  
“O-only fools enjoy the feeling…?” she freezes and digs her script out off her letterman jacket pocket. Fumbling with the cheap lined paper she squinted at her lines. “...the feeling of latex...what, what the fuck? Between their toes?”  
Jessica turned and haughtily stomped across the football field, she was dressed in her yellow and white basketball jersey, matching shorts, shoes, and a bright blue faux-fur raccoon hat (the traditional uniform of those who play the ancient and wild game of basketball).  
“Why so crass Morticia?”, asked Jessica s she tapdanced circles around the rather short Morticia.  
Morticia responded by grabbing her own shoulders, leaning forward, looking up at the bright blue sky, and standing on the tips of her toes. “B-because Jessica, M-my crass nature is the, the only way that I-I shall ever receive n-notoriety.” Morticia continued with her previous action but on one foot.

Jessica responded by helping the poor girl to her feet, and pulling her into a long sweet kiss, a kiss that was said to be sweet enough to give all of the world diabetes. When they pulled away Morticia’s stern, stoic expression had melted into a dazed grin, and from her lips leaked a single sentence, “I-I love you.” Jessica instantly rebuffed Morticia’s affections by letting go of her shoulders turning her back and walking away.  
“I don’t think I could ever love a...Football player…”  
And with the utterance of such a phrase Morticia’s heart was shattered into a million infinitesimal pieces, and then ground up into a fine powder that was then snorted off a hooker’s ass by a Japanese businessman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Two comes soon, featuring the paranormal escapades of Dipper Pines.


End file.
